things i didn’t accomplish in 2009 that i promised i would
my 2009 new years resolutions. i only accomplished one.. but it was the most important one, steven hardy.
1. be as early 90s as possible.
2. breed or find a new species of animal. name it “a-buffalo” or “a-wildabeest”.
3. get a spur of the moment tattoo. regret it for life.
4. recruit former disney channel child stars and start my own army. invade greenland.
5. start a highly successful colony in canada. treat is as my own, lawless country. abandon it.
6. coach a high school basketball team. become state champs. abandon it.
7. convince at least 5 people the moon landing was fake.
8. write an episode of law and order: criminal intent. have the murderer be john stamos.
9. win a cajun gumbo cooking competition, preferably in lousiana. preferably against bobby flay.
10. start my own record label based around underground brazilian rap music.11. beat up steven hardy.
12. knit myself a pair of pants. wear them every day.
